Quote of the day:
“Happiness arises in a state of peace, not of tumult.”
– Anatole France

So my mind is going wild and I’m having breathing difficulties again. No, I’m not sick or anything, but I can’t exactly point out what’s wrong either. Everything that’s been happening lately just throws me into this state of chaos, and unless resolved appropriately, things will only get worse and worse and ultimately reach a point where I’d rather put an end to my life than to suffer from whatever this is.

I don’t know what is happiness; maybe that’s the shortest way to put it. I don’t feel useful or meaningful either, that’s another thing. I’m not good at anything in particular and I don’t feel like I have any reason to live. By writing this post, I don’t intend to somehow make myself look or sound any better, but maybe by realizing how incompetent I really am, things would work out differently.

I can never seem to make myself content, and I don’t know why. I can never seem to make myself happy and everything I’ve achieved these past 21 years of my life doesn’t even feel like a single achievement at all. What have I done that’s truly meaningful so far? I’ve tried at least become good at something but I’m not even performing well at any single task.

From writing this post, I would’ve hoped to at least throw some of my feelings out of the window but.. Clearly, this isn’t working out at all. Why am I even like this in the first place; what is wrong with me..